July 6, 2011
Letter from J&D's Foods Regarding Country Style Bacon Gravy
It takes a big man to apologize.
In our case, its double-big since we are two men. The fact is we got
distracted. After we launched Bacon Salt® and Baconnaise®, we should
have gone right to work creating the perfect Bacon Gravy. Instead, our minds
Rather than spending time in the kitchen, we were preoccupied climbing
active volcanos and crushing ice with our bare-hands. Instead of creating
savory bacony gravy we were busy honing our skills in long forgotten martial
arts and learning to count cards for blackjack - blindfolded. Yes, instead of
finding the perfect blend of spices we were bench pressing marble statues of
world leaders and training genetically modified lions to race go-karts.
It is clear now that our efforts were misdirected.
In the process of these activities we lost sight of what is truly important…
Bacon. And now that there’s J&D’s Country Style Bacon Gravy, all is right
with the world. Just open the packet, mix it with water, and slather on biscuits,
chicken fried steak, pork chops, mashed or baked potatoes, turkey, sausage,
stuffing, buffalo (water or land), country ham, fried chicken and more. It’s
really one of our finest achievements – as a company and as human beings.
Yet we know we missed several opportunities to get this to you sooner.
Did we need to spend that year in Siberia learning the art of telepathy? We
sense the answer is "no". Did we need to put that billboard on the moon just
to debunk some conspiracy theories? Probably not. Was it necessary to
search for weeks in Paris to find the artist who could capture us in our true
essence? (see below)
Actually, we look really good in these paintings. We would do that again in a
In the end, we are very sorry for not thinking of Bacon Gravy sooner. We
promise that the taste will be worth the wait, and that our next bacon
innovation will come more quickly (as we are definitely not challenging Mt.
Everest Sherpas to a high-stakes hot air balloon race right now).
Yours in bacon,
Justin & Dave